sooooooo indulged!!!

it was yesterday when my sister mentioned,

"try download version take that.."

i did

and i'm grateful that i did

seriously,

i preferred take that's version compared to the original bee gees'

*maybe sbb gary barlow tu georgeous kot =D*

arrangement die better i would say

and mcm slow sket compared to bee gees pnya version

both are great actually

anyway

actually talking about a song

how deep is your love

*winkwink*

till then

i just cant control myself...s.o.r.r.y =D

****post-continuous assessment****

diba and i went out to times square

*my first time after we received our latest jpa scholarship for the 4th semester*

the M.A.I.N plan was

to go eat

something different than the daily cafeteria's food

so,

out we went

****post eating****

we went to b.o.r.d.e.r.s

*cant resist...i just LOVE book stores*

i can spend a whole day in a single book store

to me

books are so tempting

far more tempting than food

and yet

books are more expensive than food

*sigh*

nothing i can do about that

as i put my first foot inside that store

a novel caught my eyes

The Book of Tomorrow

by Cecelia Ahern

*just so you know, cecelia ahern is my second favourite fiction author after *of course* joanne katheen rowling*

the synopsis at the back side of the book make it even more tempting

"Tamara Goodwin has always lived in here and now, never giving a second thought about tomorrow.

Until a travelling library arrives in her tiny village, bringing with it a mysterious, large leather-bound locked with a gold clasp and padlock

What she discovers within the pages takes her breath away and shakes her world to its core

A mesmerising story about how tomorrow can change what happens today"

this what was written which wont let me put the book back down =D

so

i took the book and another one also by cecelia ahern which i havent had

The Gift

by Cecelia Ahern

*i cant resist both of them =D*

****post going out****

at the moment i enter my room

there's a stack of book of the table

robbins basic pathology

ganong medical physiology

katzung basic & clinical pharmacology

sherwood human physiology

*sigh*

i know that i have to finish them before the cecelia ahern's

*sigh some more*

till then

p/s : bru je pas tgk nur kasih...sgt sedey...rse geram ngan adam~~~

my B.U.D.D.Y & me

yesterday
for the very first time
i spent the night in ktdi, ukmmc
*ktdi stand for kolej tun dr ismail*
*obviously not as a clinical student, but to attend a programme designed exclusively to tighten the bond among buddies in a buddy line*

our buddy line


at first
it was kinda weird ble fkir kne tumpang tdo kt bilik kakak buddy
takut kte menyusahkn die
takut die xselesa ble kte kne tdo kt bilik die

but alhamdulillah
both my third and fourth year buddy are awesome
lucky for me and ja *my first year buddy* to have such nice sisters


from top to below

rosliza ali (first yr)
noor masita dahaban (third yr)
noor aisyah ahmad (fourth yr)




the best part of the programme was the forum after the officiating ceremony
seriously inspiring

prof dr nabishah mohamad
prof madya dr mohd sharir mohamed said
prof madya dr harlina harlizah hj siraj

*they are greater than greatest doctors and of course teachers*


i learned a lot from the forum
basically everything said throughout the forum was something basic
i believe sume org pun dah tahu tentang ape yg diperkatakn
but then
we are human
and human are born forgetful
and thus, kte perlu sentiasa diperingatkn

in the midst of the coming final examination
this kind of forum really pump up my motivation
apa sahaja yg diperkatakn by those doctors may sound amazing and impossible
but then, semuanye adalah pengalaman mereka
and if they can have those sweet memories as medical students
kenapa tidak kita??
seriously, after the forum
i realised that we are the ones who have all the right to colour our life
we may choose bright colours and have a bright happy life
or we may choose dull colours and proceed with a dull and sad life


having renewed motivation and inspiration
these two weeks will be filled with studies and books and notes
so that i can walk smiling towards the examination hall
smiling even brighter when walking out of the examination
and have my lecturers to smile of happiness and proud when marking my papers
*i WILL make my parents and lecturers proud of me*

INSYAALLAH

till then

beginning in the end

classes for 3rd semester, 2nd year
officially ends today

*sort of actually sbb still got one more session next tuesday on renal pathology*



eventually
we have 2 WEEKS of study week

and later succeeded with 1 week and a half on theories and practical examination
*can feel thousands of butterflies in my stomach*



so, it's the
ending of lectures and classes and practicals
beginning of days with a lot less of sleep and more of crazy amount of studies

*hopefully*


till then

r.e.a.c.h.i.n.g o.u.t

suddenly tonight
felt like reaching out
ble menatap langit gelap sorg2 kt corridor
smbil dgr lgu come home by one republic feat sara bareilles
*a song filled with meaning*


my mind travelled years and years back

2002-2006
shah pekan

terbayang faces of my friends
1-3 ilmu
4-5 jasa
debate team
rumah aminuddin
one after another
mcm2 kte lalui sme2
we even grew up together
dear god
really missed school days
*airmata bergenang*

early 2007
jad-krm

terbayang muka2 yg xlama lg nk g jepun da
including him
sending you every single best wishes from here
eventhough 3 bulan je
and i dont really know all of you in that detail
but kehadiran u all walau sekejap mne dlm hidup ni
sure light up some part of my life
and no matter how small that part is
it worth more than everything in this world
*more airmata bergenang*

2007-2008
kmj

a brief part here
sbb setahun je kt matriks
but then
still
friends are still friends
missed my roomies
practicum's mates
*airmata start jatuh and i'll do nothing*

2008-now
ukm med school

da setahun kte knal and bonded
jauh lg mse depan yg kte kne lalui sme2
hoping bond between us will remain up until workdays
we had started this life which filled with hardness and tears together
and i hope we will reach the end successfully together too
*kesat airmata, masuk bilik and start typing*



when i looked back
i realised that i can never survive without every single person that appeared in my life
no matter how brief we know each other
or how bad the first impression was

we had met
and that completed some part of me
in which there are still a lot of parts to be completed



Come Home
One Republic feat. Sara Bareilles

Hello world
Hope you're listening
Forgive me if I’m young
For speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They’re in their own place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying
So i say you’ll..

Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home
Oooh

I get lost in the beauty
Of everything i see
The world ain’t as half as bad
As they paint it to be
If all the sons
If all the daughters
Stopped to take it in
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
It might start now..Yeahh
Well maybe I’m just dreaming out loud
Until then

Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Oooh

Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here
Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here

Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Come home

i want to be H.A.P.P.Y

i am waiting for my sister


havent completed my pbl
havent read for respiratory physical examination for tomorrow
havent learned much for urinary system


have a lot things to do
but at this moment
nothing can be done


*************************


i want to be happy
like everyone else
i hate having hurtful feeling inside of me
i may smile, laugh at ijan's jokes
but deep inside
there's something yet to be discovered and understood

da dua hari mcm ni
rse lost
buat itu xkne, buat ini pun salah
i wonder why
but nothing provides me explanation


i hate blaming people
and because of that, i blame myself


a very dear friend of mine, afiq, once pernah mention

"dhira, kau ni terlalu care for feeling of others. and yet, no one really care for you as much as you care for them"

i smiled
well, i never thought of it that way
i believe that if we make others happy, we will be happy too
but why didnt i get that
why happiness never really stays with me
why must it comes after a long wait and goes away after a few moments


maybe it's true then
happiness is something that can only be pursued, but never gained
maybe i am just not worth it
maybe


i want to be happy
tell me how
provide me ways
and guide me there


*************************


still waiting for my sister
and cant get anything done

in a m.o.n.t.h time

it's late, i know
but nevermind that
just arrived from diba's room
we studied statistics tonight
plus most of the epidemiology lectures
*thanks for your help diba*


since da stayed kinda late kt bilik die
kitorg decided nk wat schedule for the upcoming pseudo&real study week
*pseudo tu actually indicate the last week for urinary module yg obviously very empty and hence should be handled as care as possible*

so, this is how our schedule looks like



*sorry sbb pic ni kinda blur*

takut tgk jadual yg sndiri buat
ini pun still rse xcukup
byk sgt rse yg perlu kne cover

blood & lymph
cardiovascular system
respiratory system
urinary system
medicine & society

*wonder jgk why ppd xde exam*

lepas buat jadual tu ngan diba
we both count how many slot do we spend for each module
so, the total

b&l = 10 slots
cvs = 13 slots
resp = 13 slots
urinary = 11 slots
m&s = 6 slots

*every slots equal to more or less 4 hours*

to make it fair & square
kitorg take turns bilik utk study
start ngan bilik diba
then tukar2 alternately
dlm jadual tu
for each day, ade symbol heart
pink-coloured heart = diba's room
orange-coloured heart = my [nad's] room

every evening diba ajak g jln2 kt tasik
i was thinking bout that too
rather than terperap kt bilik with books and notes
we should spend some time outside
inspiring fresh air
*diba gelak bila aku gne perkataan rekreasi....lawak sgt ke diba??*

one thing for sure
we need to have enough sleep
so every night we will not sleep later than 1am
*that's the limit*


hopefully both of us can keep up with what we had planned
*insyaAllah*


till then

p/s : nur kasih still xbley tggl...siap masukkn dlm jadual lg..so every friday, night session akn start kul 10 sbb both diba & me gle nur kasih =D

ooohhhh really???

just knew yesterday

that a song from



Muse


will become one of the ost for



New Moon


*nothing shocking there because i believe Muse is the stephanie meyer's favourite artist*

*but still....Muse kot~~~*



Muse - I Belong To You


listened to the song already
not bad
and
not typical Muse
lgu cm rancak sket
but not THAT rancak
mcm classic pun ade gak
mcm lgu kartun sket pun ade
*kinda weird la utk movie sal vampire =D*

hahahahahahaha


very bad of me


so sorry



till then

p/s : currently holding fashion fast forward pnye 20% off voucher...td g pavilion cr bag topshop yg diidamkn sejak ahd lpas tp da xde....rugi je voucher tu~~~~

double p/s : nyesal xbeli je bag tu last sunday... *sigh*

triple p/s : xsbr nk tngu nur kasih mlm ni....dpt tgk adam...yay~~~

best of l.u.c.k lil sis

to my little sister

SITI NAJWA AHMAD KHAIRUDIN



very best of luck for your PMR which will officially begin tomorrow



kakya tau adik xkn bce blogpost ni before tomorrow
just nk gtau
kakya tau adik bley dpt 8A
kakya akn always doakn adik
buat elok2 okeh~~





p/s : pas PMR bleyla meneruskan impian nk dtg kl ataupun keje ngan ujang K. hakhakhak~~

i'll miss you

today
and up to friday
i will have to endure days alone


he need to attend BTN camp for a week before going abroad
*last night i wonder, how am i going to face a week without ringing of the phone*
but then
this will only be the beginning


obviously
i'll miss him


dlu
everytime fikir sal kwn2 yg fly g merata2 tempat
mesti rse sebak sgt

mane x nye
i was one of the first of my batch in school yg dpt tawaran study abroad
*the other one is fitri which will go abroad march next year together with my loved one*
but then
i rejected the offer
in order to fulfill my dream of becoming a doctor
never did i regret my decision
but still, the pain of seeing others went to other countries to study hurts me deep inside


but i believe in one thing

Allah tidak akn mengurniakan hamba2Nya dgn sesuatu yg diinginkn oleh mereka...tetapi Dia akn menganugerahkn kita dgn ape yg terbaik utk diri kita..sesungguhnya, Dia Tuhan yang Maha Bijaksana lagi Maha Mengetahui


these days
i'd embraced the fact that this is my destiny
eventhough i didnt have the chance to study overseas like most of my friends
i believe this is the best path Allah had created for me
and i am grateful for that







p/s : it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live

mommy dearie

happy b.i.r.t.h.d.a.y to you
happy b.i.r.t.h.d.a.y to you
happy b.i.r.t.h.d.a.y to IBU
happy b.i.r.t.h.d.a.y to you


today
october 5, 2009
my beloved mother

PN HAFIZAH HAMZAH

is officially 51


may ALLAH bless her
and
provided her with love & care
throughout her life
forever&ever








p/s : i l.o.v.e you

it's l.a.t.e, still...i'm h.e.r.e

saturday's night
it's quite late
and yet
here i am
in front of my lappy
picking on everything in my life



i was kinda sad entering this weekend
i'm scared
*to be more precise*
my lab did quite badly in med&soc research's presentation
which ultimately carries quite some carry mark towards the end of the semester
*which will b arriving in just a month time*

seems that i dont have much problem on my biomedical strand
and yet, this one *which includes facts, logic and maths* failed me
it's hard and complicated plus fastidious

dear Allah
please help your weak and needy slave
to You i beg for mercy
and from only You i will get it
amin



however
i am entirely a person with a very changeable feeling
on friday evening
we had jamuan aidilfitri for our batch
there's a lot of pictures taken
but every single of them are in my facebook's page
i just dont feel like uploading them here
*with the current extremely slow internet connection, no wonder*

it's fun
and it took my focus away from what happened earlier that day during the presentation
but nevertheless
i still cried when i call my mom that night
*i am fragile*
and when it comes to family, friends and studies thingies
i become more fragile than ever
*no joking here*



tonight
i focused on studying med&soc for the upcoming mini test
i hope to compensate at least a little
later
i browse my playlist
and realised how far back i had been

so, i went to look for the latest songs my sister had uploaded during the hols
and currently stucked with
*teruskanlah by agnes monica*
i know this song was out ages ago
i heard it lots of time on air
but i dont know
i just stucked



i dont know why on earth i havent slept yet
*i am an early sleeper... =D*
lots of things crossed my mind this early morning
*most of them make me sad*


the most important is that
i suddenly wonder






am i in the right path??
have i made my decision correctly based on who i am??
meaning this medical school and all
can i survive this??








*lame, aint it???*





i dont know




till then