darling,i wish you were here

vanilla twilight

owl city

The stars lean down to kiss you

And I lie awake and miss you

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly

But I'll miss your arms around me

I'd send a postcard to you, dear

'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue

But it's not the same without you

Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad

'Til I look at my hands and feel sad

'Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways

Though I haven't slept in two days

'Cause cold nostalgia

Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight

I'll sit on the front porch all night

Waist-deep in thought because

When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink

I'll think of you tonight

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter

And heavy wings grow lighter

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew

But I swear I won't forget you

Oh, if my voice could reach

Back through the past

I'd whisper in your ear

Oh darling, I wish you were here

this song really touch me deep down inside

till then

with love

.....

i'm tired of trying doing things he never realised

sejak 21 mac :

post kali ni adalah berikutan perbualan dgn cik sarinah pg td di cafe ukm kkl

kitorg tgh duk kt cafe yg sgt lengang

konon2 nk breakfast

so, sarinah amik 3 biji kuih and duduk depan saya

saya bgn dgn harapan ada nugget tp xde

so beli sebotol air mineral and duduk smula

sarinah : minggu ni,aku perasan kau bfast air kosong je..xlapar ke?

nad : bkn xlapar..xde mood nk mkn..nugget pun xde..mmm..sejak 21 mac aritu lg

sarinah : aah..aku pun perasan sejak hari ahd aritu, ujan je hari2..time hari ahd aku kuar bilik tgk mendung,aku da fkir dlm ati da,nadhira g anta azeezie,mendung je...

*seriously,aku igt aku sorg je yg perasan asyik ujan je sejak ahd aritu*

nad : tu la sarinah..berkat aku join program Bumi Hijau..alam sekitar memahami perasaan aku..

*for sure both of us ketawa pas statement yg ntah ape2 ni =D*

tp mmg pun,

mcm sarinah ckp, ada prkara yg da berubah especially on me since march 21st

i never thought ade org akn perasan

but then, sarinah is a well-known to be observant

so obviously die bley pick up changes dlm kalangan kitorg

what more saya yg sentiasa berdampingan dengan die =D

so, here's the list,

sejak 21 mac :

• ujan turun every evening..kadang2 tgh hari tu panas terik,tp ble petang je ujan turun..maybe diorg pun kesian tgk saya murung je sepanjang masa
• saya bfast air kosong sahaja..seriously xde selera..time dlm bas,lapar sgt,tp ble smpi cafe,air mineral jgk yg dibeli..haih~~
• saya xpernah off ym saya..terima kasih abah kerana mengurniakan saya blackberry..jika tidak,lupaknla niat utk online 24/7
• cik V kesayangan saya ni pun xpernah pdm..menyala je..pastu kuar 15 biji buih terapung2 kt desktop..then screen jd gelap...ble tekan enter,terang blik..
• saya belanja makan kurang drpd rm5 1 hari..ini bagus jgkla..bley berjimat cermat =D
• saya belum pernah charge hphone sony saya..bateri sentiasa ada je..maybe sbb xgne kot...mesti abh happy tgk bill saya bulan ini =D

saya pun xperasan sume ni mule2

ble sarinah mention pg td, bru saya sedar ble dia da xde dpn mata, mcm2 berubah

sekarang saya tau, mcm mne besarnya impak kehadiran dia dlm hidup saya

betulla ape org ckp

kita cuma akan sedar betapa berharganya seseorang tu dalam hidup kita ble dia da xde depan mata

waktu tu la kita akn rasa menyesal for taking things for granted

*huhu..nadhira jiwang tatkala exam cuma 1 minggu lg*

dah2

saya mahu pergi belajar

dan berharap agar hujan xlg turun hari ni

kerana kata sarinah,

"bila hujan x lg turun, maknanya nadhira da adapt and gembira semula"

till then

with love

the last time

i woke up at 5 this morning

realising that today will be the last day i'll be able to look directly into his eyes

and have to wait at least a year to get that same chance again

i never posted anything so publicly about him in my blog before this

perhaps today is the day

i met him officially 3++ years ago

when i entered the JAD programme and eventually left it to pursue my dream of getting a MD

he was a nice guy

we began as friends

and later it evolves into what we have this very day

we didnt went out so many times

sometimes once in couple of months

he's busy

and so am i

*luckily i havent entered clinical years yet*

we fight a lot

*really really a lot*

most of the times

the blame was on me

and also most of the time

a managed to shift the blame onto him

and it almost always ended up with him apologizing

*i sounded bad right..well, i am*

i realised that during these 3 years

i always took him for granted

hurting him and even being mad at him for no good reasons at all

i'm sorry

today

we met for the last time

took picture for the last time

and have to wait for at least another 365 days before having the same chance again

i'll be waiting

i will

i love him

and i believe he does too

and one more thing

his name is Ali Azeezie Mohamad Zon

till then

with love

in less than 24 hours

in less than 24 hours

we'll no longer share the same time range

we'll no longer share the same language of communication

we'll no longer looking into the same familiar environment

we'll no longer spending our day in the same weather

we'll no longer be a phone call away

i'll miss everything about you

that fills my day with tears and laughter

till then

with love

the c.h.r.o.n.o.l.o.g.y of march 16th

monday

1158pm

i was trying to finish my PBL when zatil came knocking at my door

zatil : nad..tlg..pintu bilik zatil terkunci

me : laaa...yeke..jomla kte g bukak

the moment i stepped out of the room

my twinklelittlestar called

wishing me happy turning 20

so i was actually on the phone when i walked to zatil's room

and she was in front of me

at about 40 cm from her room

zatil accidentally turned the door knob

proving that the door was not locked

the moment i arrived in front of the room

and zatil opened the door

there they are

singing birthday song for me

*sarinah*jijah*zue*zatil*nabilah*

with a chocolate cake on the floor

surrounded by 6 big candles around it

a birthday cake from great friends

i was so surprised that i kinda screamed

this was unexpected

totally unexpected

so i went in

the finished singing

and i blew the candles one after another

*it's hard as they are using the literally BIG candles used during blackouts..not the normal ones used for birthday celebrations*

then we ate

we laughed

ate some some

and that's it

i went back to my room

finishing my PBL

it was 1245am

*****

1015am

we gathered at the faculty cafe

*aini*sarinah*ainaa*mai*zue*jijah*zatil*nadzirah*deeba*

and i brought together the cake they bought for me last night

so we ate the cake together

and little did i know

they have something else for me

a make-up bag

a card

and a shawl

*me likey*

**thanks a lot girls!!**

1030am

PBL session

i went to the PBL room

and gave everyone the cake

*the cake is big enough for everyone to share*

**but i dont realised that none of my pblmates wished me birthday until later that day**

we had planned to went out today

since 2 weeks ago

so today we went to pavilion for group outing

actually the guys went out first

and the girls later as we need to pray first

i didnt expect anything at all

except food

some chit chatting

and more food

we had our lunch at T.G.I fridays

this was my first time having meals there

the food was a bit expensive

so i decided that i'll get the least expensive ones

and share drinks with rumaisa'

everything went uneventful until one of the waiter came to our table with a plate and a slice of cake on it

i was like

"ape nih??"

i was asked to stand on a chair

and everyone else sang birthday song for me

and i blew the candle on the cake

having a balloon burst in my face

it was surprising

totally surprising

a cake

and a card

from my rocking pblmates

seriously, i didnt see it coming

nothing at all

but it was fun

i never thought of having a surprise on me like that

thanks a million to my pblmates

*praba*rumaisa'*mye*jia*pohtse*hooiman*siang*pau*thanuja*

u guys totally rocks!!!

1650pm

after the group outing and the surprise thingy

i ran from pavilion to times square

*not literally*

to met him who came to KL on my birthday just to see me

*and buy his laptop*

it wasnt long

as he had to rushed to board bus to kuala pilah

but 1 hour was enough for us

we had sort-of-tea at Old Town White Coffee

and went sight-seeing at Borders

butit didnt matter to me

because he already celebrated my birthday earlier on march 12th

he treated me

bought me present

and i think that was enough

a bag from him

*azeezie, i love you*

1830pm

i reached my room

went online

and replied lots of birthday wishes in my facebook

*thanks everyone!! =D*

i also opened my favourite instant hijab online boutique, sugarscarf

and i realised it had been updated with tons of beautiful hijabs inside

i fell in love with 2 of them

and decided to ask for them

now currently waiting for the beautiful boutique owner to reply me

*hopefully i'll get them and consider them as birthday presents from me to myself*

that's my meaningful and exciting and fun day

till then

with lots of love

p/s : i also got a set of cuppacakes form my family last saturday for my birthday. it was early since my birthday falls on tuesday which is unfortunately a working day!!~~

my cuppacakes

*courtesy to +wondermilk*

p.r.o.u.d of them

i have t.h.r.e.e very important men in my life

and t.w.o of them had made me exceptionally happy and proud today

my lil brother

who got good result in his SPM today

definitely proud of you baby brother =D

welcome to the world of tertiary education where you can focus on what you like

and dump what you dont

plus no crazy exams like SPM anymore

my twinklelittlestar

who officially graduated today

and even had a column in berita harian

zettai happy for you

good luck in placing yourself abroad

in the place where english is not eligible anymore and japanese is required to survive

and please please please please please come back in 2012

i love you

another important men in my life had made me exceptionally happy and proud

not just today

but everyday of my life

my abah

who love me no matter who i am

totally proud being your daughter

love you so much

i heart you all

till then

with love

carrot, egg & coffee

this post is a note in which i was tagged in by a friend, qi wen

and i think that i want to share it with everyone reading my blog

Acarrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil.. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting.. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUST DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.

If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message!

May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!!

till then

with love