self-diagnosis

assalamualaikum

today is a stressful day
sangat stressful

i had my observed long case this morning for my psychiatry posting
and i confidently claimed that it was not one of my good performances
to be honest
mmg sedikit kecewa with what had happened

i was given a newly admitted patient for that assessment
patient was brought in by her father with complaint of abnormal behaviour for the past 2-3 weeks
she was talking to herself, laughing to herself, claiming that she could hear noises all around her, blablabla

there wasnt much problem with the clerking
the discussion afterward was terrible!!
i dont feel like sharing what happened here
just wanted to write something --"

after the observed long case came the SSM (special study module) part
there was so much to be done in such a short period of time
a lot of decision making in which honestly speaking, i am NOT fond of making decisions

then my gastritis came in
probably becausei didnt take my dinner last night leaving my stomach lining vulnerable to the acid and enzymes and what not

*sigh*


i considered myself lucky
very lucky

1
my supervisor for psychiatry posting is Prof (K) Dr Hatta which probably is the best psychiatrist around
he is kind and fatherly and helpful and understanding and all
but i feel bad when i couldnt answer some of his questions during my long case
i let you down prof, my apologies =(


2
i have awesome people in my SSM group and awesome supervisor and awesome doctors
without them my SSM project might not reach this far and i might end up with worse condition than i am now



*more sigh*



this post is basically how i feel today and a few days prior
many of you might wonder how the title come about

well, after some deep cenversation and thinking and referring to DSM-IV-TR
i considered myself eligible to self-diagnose myself with mild major depressive disorder

simply because :

1. ive been having anhedonia - loss of interest in most of the daily activities
2. ive have trouble sleeping - initial insomnia and fragmentation of sleep in which will leave me tired the very next day
3. ive been having trouble in concentrating in anything i do
4. ive been losing my appetite but not losing weight just yet
5. psychomotor retardation - i noticed that i have become slow in everyting i do or think

there are 5 criterias ive fulfilled to self-diagnose myself with that disorder
thank God i havent reach the point where there is suicidal ideation
hopefully not ever

this post might be some sort of calling-for-help note from me before i reach the point of no return


~ posted with lots of love using BlogPress from my iPad